1. November 2017 When did we actually stop wondering? I would love to say, that I am sometimes surprised, that from time to time I wonder about how things seem to be. Unfortunately that is not completely true, because in deed I wonder all the time about most of the things in general and that even without any satisfying result. Wondering is a thing, right? If it means to be aware of all the miracles that surround us it is indeed wonderful. I love marveling and even manage to do so pretty often, actually. But what it also means is that I am irritated by the state of the world in most cases and that can feel quite disgusting to be honest. I am wondering about why people that I know don`t say hello on the street or even have a hard time greeting back when I am first, and if then in case they wanted to ask something. And I wonder about that smell at night that comes through the window in my bedroom (and of course it is not much better during the day). But at night it wakes me up because my body is sending alert and my nose is sending signals to my brain that something is going on that is not healthy at all. I live in the middle of a city with two trees in front of the window and I know that doesn`t make it a forest. Very close to my home there are two industrial companies, one of them for chocolate, I think. And when I wake up in the middle of the night it smells like alert, it is not easy to describe, but the word smell is not big enough. It is crystal clear that this doesn`t belong in the air. Not if you want to live long enough to actually eat that chocolate and here is the point: Not at all to any other given moment in time. That what gets me really irritated is about to come now: When I ask neighbors or people I know: Do you smell that too? Most of them say: What? No, well… there is bad smell all the time we guess, but don`t take it too seriously, you live in the city! Some say, oh yes, now that you say it, I do, very possible there is something in the air at night, because they think nobody notices, but well, what to do? Maybe you should move more country side, but hey, want a piece of chocolate? And then I ask myself, often silently and now louder: When did we actually stop wondering and when did we actually stop beginning to quit what we don`t want? And when did we start finding it ok to have a polluted air in the city or elsewhere? With no chance at all to not be affected by that on the country side. Many people I talk with believe, we might be the last generation of humans on this planet. Some are even kind of happy about that and this is not due to their hate, but by their love for nature. They imagine how the earth would recover when it got rid of its collective human tumor, of the cancer cells that turned against their origin. Others believe that we will have an ascension into the fifth dimension where golden age starts and that it will happen no matter what. None of that is what I believe, but honestly who can really know any of that. What I know is that it hurts me and that I deeply believe that we have more power than we generally learned. And from what I understand, the first step is wondering thoroughly and not silently. And in the best case, not alone.